Community Leader in promoting water safety
and
learn-to-swim
programs in the Tidewater area.
Mary Helen Thomas, 85, of Densmore Place, Norfolk, VA, passed away peacefully at her home surrounded by her family on May 22, 2010.
She was a native of Virginia. She was the daughter of the late J. Moody and Rena Holland and predeceased by her husband, Ellis G. Thomas, Sr.; and her son, Moody Baloos Thomas, Sr.
Left to cherish her memory are a son, Ellis G. Thomas, Jr.; two sisters, Gloria Norris of Norfolk, VA and Lois Koester of Corpus Christi, TX; seven grandchildren; three great grandchildren; three nephews; and one niece.
Mary Helen was instrumental in the development of the water safety program in the Tidewater area for 52 years, working through the YWCA and the American Red Cross. She received many awards throughout her career and is honored by having the Mary Helen Thomas Racial Justice Award named after her for having broken down the racial barriers within the swimming community in the 1960's.
The funeral will be held on Tuesday, May 25, 2010, at 10:30 a.m. at Hollomon-Brown Funeral Home, Tidewater Drive Chapel. Burial will follow immediately at Forest Lawn Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Mary Helen Thomas Fund, American Red Cross, 611 W. Brambleton Ave., Norfolk VA 23510 or YWCA, 5215 Colley Ave., Norfolk, VA 23508.
The family would like to give a special thanks to Leslie Paul for all of her support. The family would like to invite friends to join them after the burial at her residence.
_____________________________
The Eulogy for Mary Helen Thomas
Delivered by Leslie Paul,
Water Safety Chairman,
American Red Cross of Southeastern Virginia
Mary Helen Thomas
S.P.U.N.K. – Spunk.
If you looked up the definition you would find a picture of Mary Helen Thomas. You would learn that it means “a quality of mind showing enthusiasm, boldness, energy, courage, determination, and motivation”. That is Mary Helen Thomas! She was never a quitter; even in the last days of her life.
I will be forever grateful and that she allowed me into her life. Our relationship didn’t start out to promising though.
I first met Mary Helen at a Water Safety Instructor update also known as a rollout. I was a new instructor and I had heard stories about this woman who trained WSI’s and taught swimming. I was nervous. I’d heard she was tough, had extremely high standards, didn’t tolerate any fooling around, expected 200% from any student. She expected the best and would not accept less from her Instructor Candidates. I had heard to stay away from any class she was teaching. Grown adults were afraid of her. She could control people’s destinies. She failed people left and right. Her name was stamped on the back of every American Red Cross certification card. Who was this woman? I learned very quickly! Being 19 years old, I didn’t take things too seriously. As you can guess, that wasn’t going to fly in a Mary Helen Thomas class. By the end of the rollout, I understood why I was not only to fear God, but also Mary Helen Thomas. I also learned that this lady knew her stuff and that she was a great teacher. I wanted to be like her when I grew up.
Over the next few years, we crossed paths in meetings, at the American Red Cross office, and at a variety of pools. I’m not sure at what point those paths crossed over from a working relationship to friendship but I will be always grateful it did. We enjoyed cultural events, movies, parties, special events, ice cream, bars and restaurants, and of course, swimming. We celebrated birthdays and Christmas and other milestones in each other’s lives. We grieved the deaths of her son, daughter in law, and husband. She was a very private person who when asked how she was doing, would always respond “I’m fine” whether she was or not. She might tell me about one trial or tribulation but she never dwelled it. She would smile and say that she was making progress.
Mary Helen Thomas was instrumental in promoting water safety and learn to swim programs in the Tidewater area. Her aquatic career dates back to 1957 when she started teaching out of the YWCA in Norfolk. They didn’t have a pool so she taught in the open water of the Ocean View Beaches, at the Cavalier Hotel and at private pools because the public pools resisted integration. Under her leadership, the YWCA swim program taught lessons to approximately 1000 people annually. She also volunteered for the American Red Cross and the Boys & Girls Club. She was such an integral part of the YWCA, that when she retired, they retired their aquatics program. She worked and pioneered the effort to break down the racism barriers in swim programs and because of those efforts, the YWCA established the Mary Helen Thomas Racial Justice Award that is given each year and recognizes individuals in the community who work toward the elimination of racism. Past recipients of the award include Helen Moore, Dr. Virginia Armstong, Yvonne Miller, Evelyn Green, and members of the Norfolk 17, among others.
She was the exception! No one in Tidewater had the training that she had. She was a Water Safety Instructor Trainer, Lifeguard Instructor Trainer, and a CPR Instructor Trainer. She was also formerly an Adapted Aquatics Instructor Trainer. She attended the National Aquatic Schools in New Jersey, New Hampshire, and North Carolina. Because of her teaching abilities, she was picked to be on the staff at those National Aquatic Schools. She served as Dean of Water Safety at Camp Young in Chesapeake, VA for seven years when she conducted review courses for current WSI’s and updated them in the new materials. Along with all of these accomplishments, Mary Helen served as a National AAU Synchronized Swimming Judge. She served as Chairman of the Water Safety Committee for the Tidewater Chapter of the American Red Cross from 1962 - 1990 and served on that committee up until last year. She also served on the Board of Director’s from 1962 – 1977 and served on the Health Services Committee. In 1983, when WSI and Lifeguarding were separated, Mary Helen was selected to represent the Tidewater area ARC in a special training workshop in Atlanta to initiate the new Lifeguard Training Course where she qualified as a Lifeguard Instructor Trainer. She was one of 226 people nationally who qualified. In 1991, Mary Helen received the Volunteer of the Year Award from the Health & Safety Committee of the Tidewater Chapter. In 1989 and again in 1994 she was selected for National Training in Charlotte, NC and Akron, Ohio, respectfully to learn the new materials. Once back from these trips, she would study and memorize the new material so she could train the other Instructor Trainers in the area. She had her hands full trying to keep the likes of Coach Archie, Alice Striffler, and myself in line during these classes. She would give us “the look” and we knew we better straighten up and quit fooling around. She was also a lifetime member of the Commodore Longfellow Society and has received an award from the Society for “Years of devoted service to the saving of lives through the teaching of swimming, lifesaving, and first aid”. She is so well thought of, that her peers started a special fund in her name for promoting water safety here, in the Tidewater area. She knew it all! There have been many times in my swimming career that I didn’t know what to do or how to handle a given situation, so I’d have to ask myself “What would Mary Helen do”? I would try to figure it out on my own but there were many times that I still needed her reassurance that I was doing the right thing. I know other instructor’s have done the same throughout their teaching years.
Mary Helen Thomas was a true matriarch, both in her family life and her aquatic career. A matriarch is defined as:
1. A woman who rules a family, clan, or tribe
2. A woman who is the founder or dominate member of a community or group.
3. A highly respected woman who is a mother
4. Glue J
This is the reality that was Mary Helen Thomas. Synonyms such as queen and grande dame come to mind. She firmly characterizes the dominate force of the Water Safety movement in Hampton Roads. She was the Grande Dame of the Instructor Trainers. One day at the rehab center, she asked me to come closer and she whispered in my ear “the staff here are afraid of me.” I cracked up laughing and told her that she hadn’t lost her touch and that some things never change. In her last days, her concerns were about her family as a true matriarch would be. She worried about Tommy and Trey. She didn’t want us to cry. She told Rena that she had to be strong for her dad which ironically my own mother said the exact words to me when she was dying. I learned about car crying then and was able to pass that skill on to Rena. Mary Helen was concerned about the glue and I know that she was very pleased to be able to see all of her grandchildren one last time. As sad as the end of a life is, there was laughter through the tears. Rena and I kept reminding each other to “buck up” when either of us started to tear up in front of Mary Helen. After all these years, the name MaryHelen became one word for me; so much so that I asked Rena on Thursday if she had a middle name. The look I got was priceless and very calmly she said “Helen”. I heard stories this week about her pushing Moody, Trey, Rena, and Tanya into the deep end of the pool. I was aghast! Mary Helen push someone in? No way! But after giving it some thought, I realized that she knew that they were ready; they just didn’t believe. She knew, even when you didn’t, that you would succeed. I know she would not have left her family now if she had any qualms as to your success in life without her. She has left us with a lump in our throats, tears in our eyes, and a genuine sadness in our hearts. SPUNK - she would want us to carry that on. She left Rena with most of it, but I truly believe that all of us that ever crossed paths with Mary Helen Thomas was given just a little bit of that wonderful trait.
I was asked by the older grandchildren to read this poem titled:
Miss Me But Let Me Go – unknown author
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set on me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room,
Why cry for a soul set free.
Miss me a little – but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me – but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone,
It’s all a part of the Master’s plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me – but let me go.
I can just imagine the conversation with St. Peter and Mary Helen on Saturday morning. She was a force to deal with. I am sure that with the summer swim season getting ready to kick off this week, she is in Heaven, organizing the swim lessons, rounding up teachers and students, and explaining to God that this is how it is done and that the water better be warm. She is nodding her head in approval and saying “I’m fine”.
